


A Birthday For One

by MyOtherRideisaTARDIS



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (that mean you can be inspired by this), Angst, Blanket Permission, Brotherly Angst, Gen, Podfic Welcome, Sanders Sides - Freeform, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:14:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24928990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyOtherRideisaTARDIS/pseuds/MyOtherRideisaTARDIS
Summary: They never were good at sharing
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	A Birthday For One

“I despise you, you uncouthly mothly maggot!”

“A maggot? Mwa? I’m flattered, I wasn’t aware you watched my squirmy wet dancing in the shower!”

“You tempt me to begin singing Becky G’s classic 2014 bop “Shower” but I reFUSE to fall for that sweet sweet song, ya piece of sentient trash.”

“You think I’m sentient! Ooooh everybody, everybody, he thinks I’m sentient!”

“You know what, I was being nice, letting you eat our cake from out of the trash can, but I. Have. Had it! I cannot bear one more minute of sharing this birthday with you!”

“Roman, dear dear brother Roman, why not share our birthday at all?”

“Say what now?”

“Why share? We used to share a body, and look how that turned out.”

“With me as a dashing charming prince and you as the fusion of Oscar the grouch and his trash can?”

“Exactly! Sharing has never worked out for us, which is why I’m proposing we have different birthdays!”

“But we’re tw-“

“-two halves of a allegorical representation of Thomas’ creativity that aren’t bound by biological laws that actually twins who were born rather than created would have to follow?”

“...Point. Very well, from now on we shall share nothing, not even our birthday!”

“In that case, scootch among Princey, you’re crowding my birthday party.”

“YOUR party? How come you get to keep the original date?”

“My idea, my right to dibs.”

“...Though Logan has shut himself in his room your brotherly logic is sound. Very well, you may have this day, while I gracefully sink out, out, and away!”

“A rhyming superman allusion won’t change the fact that I won for once, Roman. Now toodle off, these dirty noodles are delicious with this cake soaked in this unidentifiable liquid I found at the bottom of the trash bag and you are cramping my style!”

“...Why did you say ‘for once?’”

“ _Slurp. _Hmm?”__

____

____

“You said ‘A rhyming superman allusion won’t change the fact that I won for once.’ What had you lost?”

“Do I really need to spell it out for you? I guess I do, with the help of the letters “I” and “L-O-S-T,” not to mention “Y-O,” and actually, “U!”

“...”

_“Sluuuuuuuuuuurp. _”__

____

____

“I... hadn’t realized, before.”

“Before what? _Sluuuuurp. _”__

____

____

“When we... went our separate ways... that hurt you too, didn’t it, Remus?”

“...When I said earlier I’m barely sentient, I wasn’t joking.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m barely lucid most of the time to remember whether I’ve eaten that week, Roman why an I holding this spaghetti cake?”

“It’s our- no, your birthday, Remus. You should enjoy it. Here, have my cake, I'm off to process my feelings via destruction of a certain dragonwitch.”

“Ooh, spit-soaked birthday cake, could this day get any worse? _Munch. _”__

____

____

“Actually- Remus?”

“Can barely hear you brother mine, you’ve sunk your mouth out below the floor.”

“Apologies, something occurred to me that gave me pause.“

“Paws? You’re a furry now? Wanna have bestial-brother sex?”

“NO! Remus, why do you go from somewhat lucid to cracking horrible jokes?”

“You think my crack jokes are horrible? I’m flattered!”

“See, that is exactly what I mean. We discussed splitting up our birthday and now you’re cracking crack jokes? Remus, why?”

“... We split up our birthday?”

“What, yes, of course we did, we just discussed it 5 minutes ago!”

“So why am I eating cake?”

“Because it was your idea, and as the bearer of ideas it is your right to have first dibs on our original birthday date.”

“Oh.”

“Remus... do you really not remember?”

“The more things people around me try not to think about the more I can.”

“Can what?”

“Think. You’re sad now for some reason I’m guessing my presence so I can what are talking about because my brain juice is about gone and I don’t know why I’m holding this cake.”

“Because, it’s your birthday, Remus.”

“Just mine?”

“Yes.”

“Sweet, more cake to sprinkle with birthday cake flavored deodorant!”

“Remus? I know it’s not my birthday anymore, but would you give me the gift of having a good time?”

“You want me to have a good time?”

“Yes, if it isn’t too much trouble.”

“Not too much trouble, now that doesn’t sound very fun.”

“If it’s too much trouble, then.”

“I’d do anything for trouble, brothermine. Anything at all.”

“Good. Well, goodbye, Remus. Happy birthday.”

For some reason, Remus felt he shouldn’t say happy birthday back.

**Author's Note:**

> Criticism is much appreciated and not expected, all I ask is you enjoy my work


End file.
